SmittenAngel

I found out my health is deteriorating faster then it should. I wont be able to walk for at least a year and there is no guarantee i will be able to walk after that. My dream the thing ive fought for so hard my whole life, the thing that makes me try will soon be gone. The doctors are having to do some surgeries that i cant live with, and because of it me and my boyfriend broke up temporarily because he cant handle the stress, i started to become argumentative with everything out of fear. Which made him need space. which leaves me alone to sit with myself, today i cut my legs, arms and wrists i didnt get deep enough before i friend found me a

 What I learned from the absence of you I learn daddy is only a word used in porn or fetish play I learned I was an object I learned feeling unwanted was a womens burden I learned a women acts availible all the time whether she is or not I learned women were a comodity and must be addressed as such when I learned you had a different adopted family I realized you took your son and replaced me I lived with you and your family but was always an outsider What I learned from your other family that I am worthless I learned you will no stand up for me and that to get attention I need to cause chaos I learned that watching my step sist

I know he's lying I  feel it in my bones I hate her I should have known trust no one is all I have left to think about